Now I never thought I would say this…I never thought that I would self-identify as a feminist. However, after several disappointing relationships, multiple ego-deflating scenarios, and a sober analysis of reality, I realize that I am. Or maybe I always have been. I think that despite the advances, it is becoming increasingly harder for a woman to identify her role in society. As the 21st century zooms through at full force, state borders and economies are not the only things that are becoming increasingly blurred. The roles of “gender” are becoming more confusing, as well.
Although I was raised in an egalitarian household that was located in a democratic and liberal state, I, like many others, have been a victim of indirect gender discrimination. In this sense, the term “victim” does not imply physical abuse but refers to the psychological expectations and double standards that are applied to Western women today.
Ever since I was a child, I have been bombarded with the feminine beauty ideal. At the age of four, I was handed a leggy blonde Barbie who would become my longtime companion. Growing up with these dolls and the smiling images of super models and beauty queens on the covers of magazines skewed my perception of reality.
As I played house with my long-legged friend, I had no idea that she was the epitome of a genetic miracle (If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe. Weighing 110 pounds, Barbie would fit the weight criteria for anorexia and likely not menstruate). On the contrary, I believed that she and Cindy Crawford were representative of the average woman.
Looking back now, it was not surprising that I would become the poster child of low-self esteem during my teen years. When at the age of 15, I realized I was only 5’6, did not have a tiny waist, and lacked the perfectly chiseled Grecian features of a goddess, I felt betrayed by destiny. How could I, someone who so ardently believed in true love and fairy tales, have been so rudely robbed of my dreams? I thought fate had hated me.
Sometimes I wonder if my experiences would have been as harsh or as painful if I grew up being treated like a boy. Granted, boys experience other types of pressures growing up, but they rarely base their worth on their resemblence to fashion models. Rather, they are more occupied with making the baseball team, becoming the star athlete, or driving the fastest sports car. As adults, their immunity to being judged based on beauty is reinforced. Rather than losing their sex appeal after a certain age, men seem to "improve" with time like fine wine.
I have listed just a few examples of this double standard:
1) 49 year old Demi Moore’s separation from Ashton Kutcher, 34, caused a massive “I told you she was too old for him” media frenzy while everyone was fine with the fact that Bruce Willis was married to a women 23 years his junior.
2) French President Sarkozy did not marry Italian model Carla Bruni because of her vivacious intelligence and professional success. Carla was willing to forgo beauty in her spouse for the power and prestige associated with being the president's wife.
3) Female celebrities have a considerably shorter shelf-life than male ones. How many female Liam Neeson, Denzel Washington, Richard Gere, and Johnny Depps are there out there? Furthermore, why are these actors cast alongside women 10-15 years their junior?
4) Would Marilyn Monroe have been thought of as fondly today if she was alive, wrinkled, and 60? The example of Bridget Bardot is not encouraging.
Simply put, a woman’s worth is decided by appearance while men are evaluated by fame, wealth, and success. Conversely, a large degree of a woman’s “worth” is determined by factors beyond her control (i.e. height, body type, etc.) while a men’s worth can be manipulated. Clearly I am speaking in generalizations here, but I feel that the general idea is valid. A man can always obtain a higher position in the workforce, earn more money, and appeal to more women. Women on the other hand, would not drastically alter their attractiveness quotient by doing the same. It seems that despite years of effort to equalize society, women are still the victims of circumstance.
*To Be Continued….
