The Good Guys (there is hope, after all)

First and foremost, I'd like to give a shout out to these men. I want to thank them for their kindness, warmth, and decency. They ought to be the unspoken romantic heros at the end of each romance novel. They're the guys that you can rely on, trust, and love.

 Perhaps the largest defining feature of these men is their utter frankness. They never try to put on a facade or distract you with pretty words. They are direct and genuine. When they like you, they say so, when they decide on something, they stick to it. Unlike bad men, they know what they want and do not deviate. Their unwavering assurance can be somewhat unerving at the beginning; however, its meant with good intentions.

I think that with good men, relationships enter a different level. Rather than being in an anxiety-ridden limbo (officially known as "limerance") you feel safe and stable. You know what to expect. There is no doubt about being good enough or pretty enough. You don't have to worry that he'll flirt with another girl at Starbucks while you buy a cup of coffee. A relationship with a good man does not create the druglike euphoria that often accompanies a volatile relationship. Its appeal comes in a quieter, more constant form.

Perhaps the best (and most important) thing about good men is how they make you feel. Under a good person's love and acceptance, you can flourish like the flower that opens to the morning sun. This person will breathe life into you rather than take it away.

If ever in doubt over a man's character, ask yourself the following questions:

1) If this man was transported to the trenches of WWI, would he fight or would he run away? Would he risk his life to save a fellow wounded soldier?
 2) If you were sick with cancer and lost all of your hair, would he be by your side? Or would he be elsewhere, distancing him from an unpleasant situation?
3) Would he pick up the phone if you called him in a moment of crisis at 3 am?
4) Do you feel energized or emotionally drained after seeing him? Does he make you  feel insecure?
5) Has he ever been in love?This is a big red flag and could mean that he's incapable of loving altogether.
6) What is his track record? What kind of relationships did he have in the past and how did they end?  The best predictor of someone's future behavior can be seen in their past actions.
7) Does he discuss philanthropic issues? Does he care strongly about any particular cause? If this person is ambivalent about such things, it could signify a shallow nature.
8) How does this person treat those who are "social outcasts"?